Every couple of years I go into a limbo of not knowing where the past is leading me and what the future holds. Each time I go through it I come out with a reinvented life.
Last time I was in a deep limbo was mid-winter of 2012. I had just turned 49 and gone through a breakup. During that time I did a lot of introspection and contemplation. I decided once and for all to work towards making my living in music and wean off selling my time on this planet to someone else.
I went to San Diego for the summer of 2012 to visit friends and family and work on music with one of my collaborators, Jimmy Connors. I came back to St. Pete, FL and started playing and recording full time. I went on a nationwide tour summer of 2013 with plans to spend winter in Key and then tour again in the summer of 2014.
A wrench got into the 2014 tour (medical issues) but life handed me a very nice consolation prize – the opportunity to live on one of the top-rated beaches on one of the top-rated islands in the country where I could record and play and sing at the top of my lungs and not disturb or be disturbed – thanks to Pablo and Diana, my good friends and owners of The Sandbox on AMI and this beach cottage I live in.
Once I got rolling here, I decided to dedicate myself more specifically to songwriting as a career and stop pursuing weekly bar gigs which are just another form of selling my precious time on this planet to someone else.
I’ve spent the last six months writing and recording demos and waiting for my producer to become available. My current catalog is now in the capable hands of producer, Kevin Johnston.
I also sold partial publishing rights to a song, crossing that barrier from amateur to professional songwriter and providing needed funding for recording. All seems to be going well.
This limbo phase in the life of a free spirit like mine can be tough on the psyche. It’s confusing and scary to the inner child, and requires blunt self-honesty from the inner adult.
Fortunately, this is actually the best time of year for me to be in limbo. I generally slow down and take it easy between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. I can take that time to relax and reflect on the past and imagine potential futures.
My lease runs out just after the new year begins. I can go anywhere I want in the world. Right now the plan is to spend a couple months in San Diego again visiting friends and family, since I didn’t get there this past summer. After that? God only knows. While I’m there I’ll put some more thought into it and also see which way the wind blows. I’ll most likely come back to Gulf Coast Florida and find a place to settle in for the long term.
The really great thing this time around is that it’s the first limbo in which I’m no longer wondering what to do with my time on Earth. I know what I want to be when I grow up. The only thing I really need to decide on now is where to settle for the long term.
Most likely I will settle down somewhere in Florida and continue to write and perform and tour. And hopefully meet someone special with whom to share this adventure.
People often say, “life is short.” But for me life seems long. I’ve lived in so many places, and met so many people, and had such a variety of relationships and careers, I feel like I’ve forgotten more of my life than most people remember. But I’ll never forget or regret these past couple years of reinvention.